These days, it might feel like all we do is listen. We listen to our coworkers in the daily Zoom meeting. We listen to our kids when they cry for help with their school video call. We listen to podcasts, TV shows, or the radio during our small breaks when we can grab time for ourselves.
With all this listening, it’d be easy to assume we’re pretty good at it. So it may surprise you that as a general rule, people are not very comprehensive listeners. You’ll find many statistics about how much we remember based on what we hear, but it can range anywhere from 10 to 50 percent.
Despite this, listening is a critical factor in maintaining good relationships with our family and friends, as well as making sure the businesses we work for are effective.
Luckily, there are concrete ways to become a better listener. Like everything, it just takes practice.
Yes, technically no one can see you checking your phone on the Zoom conference call. However, your brain knows you’re checking, and it’s not going to be paying as much attention to what your coworker is saying as it is to your latest text messages. As much as we pride ourselves on the ability to multitask, research shows we aren’t actually very good at it. So put away the phone, close the tabs on the news, and let yourself focus on one thing at a time.
To show you’re listening, it’s helpful to repeat back to the person what they’ve said, in your own words. Not only will this trick show the other person you’re paying attention, but it will also require you to process and formulate their ideas in your own way, which can help you remember the conversation. This method will also allow the other person to correct you if you haven’t quite gotten the point they’re trying to make.
If you don’t have enough understanding to repeat back what they’re saying, ask them to elaborate on certain points and give examples. Remember, this isn’t a time for arguing or constructing your own response. It’s a time to absorb what the other person is saying.
When it comes to large group video calls, we likely won’t all be able to show that we’re listening through verbal cues, otherwise, the call would descend into a shouting match to make ourselves heard. That means we need to rely on body language to communicate that we’re paying attention. Lean forward and make eye contact (or, as much as you can on a video call). Nodding or smiling are also helpful cues for the speaker to know you’re paying attention. While it’s tempting to turn your video off, try to keep it on if you can help show people that you’re engaged and interested.
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